So, I think Saturday morning's test, accurate or not, jarred something in my brain so that now I actually am considering the possibility, however remote it may be, that I may be having a girl. I'm not sure that had really registered 100% before.

I'm fine with that. In fact, it would be wonderful. (When I say I'm pretty indifferent this time, I really do mean it!) Gosh, I mean, just getting to shop in a whole new department of the baby clothes stores would be amazing! (I maintain though that you really can find plenty of cute boy clothes so I wish people wouldn't complain about that so much)

But it also hit me that IF this is girl, it means it's NOT a boy. Okay, I know that sounds like, "duh!" but hear me out. For probably at least two years now, I have pictured myself with three boys. I adore my boys... I love BABY boys... they are so squishable and sturdy at that heavenly 6-9-month age. I have come to embrace all the craziness in my house, the bikes and sports equipment all over the lawn... and the picture in my head for a long time, has been more of the same.

It's just strange to have that picture change a little, even if it's only a possibility. Again, no complaints. In fact, I'll be thrilled because if this is a girl maybe it means at least one of my children may actually call me on a regular basis when they grow up, or remember my birthday or mother's day without being hit over the head. That would be nice. I'm all for it.. bring it on.

If it's a girl though, I'll also miss the little boy I never got to meet, who I named two years ago (even though that name is up in the air these days) and who will never wear all the little clothes I've been saving that his brothers wore.

It'll just be a small bit of sadness, quickly overtaken, I'm sure by the idea of a baby girl to love, but nevertheless it will be there.

But no, it's definitely not going to be enough to make me want a fourth. LOL.