Barf. Barf. Hurl. Hurl. Barf barf hurl. Gag. Nausea nausea nausea.


Seriously, since 5:30 this morning this has been my "status". Currently googling remedies, though I have tried every single one in the past and nothing ever works for me. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

ETA: Apparently, a little hair of the dog is what I needed. I reluctantly made myself a mug a coffee, thinking that maybe some of the headache, nausea and tiredness I was feeling was related to my abrupt divorce from coffee. Well, it seems to have helped a little. I choked down about half a cup and already feel better. Yay!

I'm not sure if the nausea is more intense this time or if I just don't remember how bad it was the last two times. All I can say is, it's bad. I'm starting to wonder why I thought this would be a good idea...

...along those lines, I had a mini-panic attack last night thinking about the upheaval that is going to happen around here come mid-late August. I worry that I'm going to end up missing Ben's first day of school because I'll be in the hospital, or I'll miss the picnic where he goes to find out who his teacher is... I'll have to make sure all the school supplies and everything are in place WELL before school starts. I thought about starting all over again with a newborn and the not sleeping and how is it all going to work out those first few months and how will I still have time to give to the other two? And what if the baby is colicky? (cry)

Clearly, it's way too late to be worrying about any of this and too early all at the same time. I'm sure it will work out, but how bad will it be? I'm worried it will be REALLY bad for awhile...

Constantly nauseated now. Other than the morning routine, no other actual action, but I almost think I'd rather actually throw up then just walk around feeling like I have to all the time. But enough about that, let's talk about food. (ha!)

I went to the grocery store today to stock up on easy dinners (since the last thing I feel like doing lately is cooking a complicated meal) and quick, healthy snacks. I was starting to fall prey to the "I'm hungry now right now need food right now right now okay I'll just eat whatever I find in the pantry." pregnancy vice. And that never even makes me feel better because it's never what I actually want.

So I came home with tons of fruit and frozen veggies, cans of lentil soup, almonds, stuff to make wraps, juice and seltzer water, and supplies to make big salads. I CRAVE veggies like crazy when I'm pregnant and I can never have too many on hand.

I also bought a rotisserie chicken and ate half of it on the ride from the grocery store to my parents' house. LOL! I'll tell you though, I haven't felt hungry all afternoon since then... yay for protein! Still barfy though... but that's par for the course.

Oh and then there's the issue of the belly. It grew overnight. Six weeks today and I kid you not, I pretty much look unmistakably pregnant at this point. Is that NORMAL or do I need to be worried there is more than one in there?!

Coffee has now almost completely lost its taste appeal. This is sad for me because it hasn't lost its physical appeal... I still want to hold that warm mug in the morning and sip while I read facebook and my email. But alas, it tastes HORRIBLE and makes me feel like I have to puke... :(

In other news, I was THRILLED to read Katie's blog this morning and find out that she is also pregnant with #3! I've been feeling a bit lonely in my adventure this time and was glad to see I am not the only one pregnant right now and also not the only one crazy enough to be pregnant with my third. A pukey woman loves company... and I'm sure, come September when the baby's colicky, Ben's starting first grade and Simon is hating life as a middle child and I've completely gone off the deep end, it will also be nice to be able to commiserate. So, congrats Katie! I'm glad to have a friend along for this ride!

Yeah, see the banner up there? That's no exaggeration. But once it's over this time, it's OVER. (The more I say that, the more I am probably just asking for an accidental fourth child... but it's just so EXCITING that come August, this factory is CLOSED)

More weird dreaming last night, but from what I can remember, no babies in them. I was helping in Ben's kindergarten room and his teacher yelled at me for spilling glitter on the floor. I told her to chill out and got the dustpan to clean it up. Suddenly Ben and Simon appeared on the scene and started playing with all of her toys, which I couldn't stop because I was busy cleaning up glitter. So she had another hissy fit. My mom also made a cameo, just calmly rocking in a rocking chair in the corner and talking to me while I cleaned up the mess. Weird, yes... but not revealing in anyway as far as I can tell.

Never made it out to get a belly band yesterday, so that's definitely on the agenda today. Especially since I spent all day yesterday EATING. I did finally brave the scale and I have gained four pounds. Sheesh -- but, not atypical for me... I gain about a pound a week for the entire first trimester and then start not being able to eat at ALL without hurling, so it slows down after that. So, it's all good. ;)

Labels: dreams, puking, weight

I hope this passes soon, or I am going to be a house. SO hungry. And I really, really want more of what I had last night at my SIL's house, which was this awesome chicken stir fry thing. Sadly, it is not here and I almost want to cry. I am eating some rice instead... but it's not quite hitting the spot.

I woke up at 2:30 this morning and laid there, willing myself not to get sick. Thankfully, as is typical of my pregnancies, the nausea is limited to the morning hours right now (or if I wake up in the middle of the night) and I am able to keep food down all day... I will appreciate that while it lasts. I also still find coffee appealing, which I also know isn't long for this world.

I had another dream last night. In this one I was determined to breastfeed, but people kept moving the baby and I had to keep chasing it around the house with giant wet spots on my shirt. At one point, I found Ben with her (yep, another girl dream), rocking her like a pro. It was actually kind of cute, but in the dream I was ridiculously frustrated with the situation. The baby had brown hair and brown eyes this time. Gotta love weird pregnancy hormone-induced sleep.

The dream gender tally now stands at Girl: 2 Boy:0. Don't read too much into that though. I think girls led early on when I was pregnant with Simon too. It isn't until later in the game that the dreams start to get more clear (and in my experience, more accurate) ;)

I dug out the boxes of maternity clothes last night and sorted them out. I haven't gotten on the scale at ALL, but I can definitely tell I've added a pound or three and I can see it in the mirror. Those comfy pants will be rotated into the wardrobe in the next few weeks. I'm not a huge fan of this stage of pregnancy... but it will be over soon enough. And, as I keep telling myself with each and everything that happens this time.... THIS IS THE LAST TIME!!!!! Sad for some parts of it, notsomuch for others. Woohoo!

I can't find my belly band, which irritates me to no end because I am so meticulous with organizing and storing clothes. It will be necessity though in mere days, I'm thinking. so I'm off to get a new one sometime today. I'm sure the old one will turn up as soon as I shell out the $8 for a new one. Grr...

Labels: dreams, month 2, puking

I planted the tiniest little clue over on my main blog... I'll be interested to see if anyone notices it. If you did, congratulations, you have good eyes! ;)

There is something so amazingly reassuring about having to hang your head over a toilet bowl first thing in the morning during the first trimester of a pregnancy.

I mean, yeah, it sucks, and it's uncomfortable and it's just all around pretty horrible, especially when you realize how gross your basement toilet is... but generally, it's a good sign that all is well. And for the last two mornings, I have done just that.

Yesterday, I thought maybe it was psychosomatic or just a fluke. But then this morning, when I had to make a mad dash for the bathroom, I knew it was the real thing.

So this lovely Sunday morning, I am quite literally thanking God for dry heaving! ;) I wonder if he's ever gotten that before?

We decided not to tell anyone yesterday. I was having kind of an off day with more lower back pain and some cramping...

I've decided I definitely need some concrete "all is well" evidence before I tell anyone else. All I can really do is wait for something to happen and then on the 13th, I have the doctor's appointment and ultrasound. If I get really desperate, I will take my other doctor up on running another round of bloodwork, but I honestly don't think I can mentally handle waiting around for a phone call for the news one way or the other.

I had a miscarriage dream two nights ago, which, along with all the discomfort yesterday did NOT help me feel any better. (my m/c dreams are notorious for coming true) Although, during the same dream, I was in a room with a woman (who was not me, but in the dream I thought she was.... you know how dreams are) who was talking with these four identical blonde, curly-haired little girls when she realized they were actually her daughters she was pregnant with and she was just getting to talk to them before they were born. I am certain I do not have four babies in there... but I did think the general idea was interesting and I wonder what it means. My pregnancy dreams are almost always relevant in one way or another, so I always make sure do document them. Anyway, I hope the good manages to outweigh the bad in this particular one.

Anyway... back to waiting...

Labels: dreams, month 2

Still here, back doesn't really hurt anymore... maybe just a little bit on and off.

Debating whether or not to tell both families tomorrow morning. It's still SO early, much earlier than I normally feel confident telling people. And I have no solid proof that all is well. But, it IS Christmas, and how often do you get share news like THIS on Christmas morning?! It may be worth the risk. We'll see...

My back has been hurting like crazy all day and I'm a little crampy. Of course, it has me worried... but it's one of those things that could be totally normal, or a signal of something bad. I decided to take some Tylenol and try not to think about it. Hoping the next few days are uneventful...

... and still not much to report. I woke up at 5:30 STARVING, but now I am having a hard time choking down a bowl of oatmeal and a banana, so I guess that's something. I just wish I felt more pregnant. I'd feel better about this whole thing.

I also wish I had a friend with an ultrasound machine. My friend Priti is actually a doctor (radiology/ultrasound type stuff) and I actually considered for a moment emailing her... LOL. But honestly, we haven't seen each other since college and she's probably way too professional to sneak an old friend in for an ultrasound.

I've also considered calling the place that does the 3D ultrasounds just to see if they could maybe fit me in for some kind of minimal charge just to show me there is actually a baby in there and that's in the right place. Might just try that... dunno when I would have time to go... but it would ease my mind.

Okay, food has officially started not tasting right. My morning Zone breakfast bar tasted like a pile of sugar with a slightly bitter aftertaste. Ew.

...and I am starting to get sort of weirded out by the floating blob over there on the rght. I am anxious for it to take on slightly more human characteristics.

Gagged this morning! Yay for that!

I promise I won't do these daily updates forever.

But for now...four weeks, four days and all still seems okay! Tom really wants to tell his parents and I've been putting him off. So today he went out for yet another box of pregnancy tests for me. LOL. I find them very reassuring.

The "you're pregnant" line is now twice as dark as the "this test is working" line, so despite the fact that I don't feel much in the way of symptoms at all, it appears everything it progressing.

So, the next chance we get with them alone, we'll probably let them in on it. No idea when we'll tell the rest of the family. Ideally, I'd like to wait until we see a heartbeat, but that's not until mid-January. So, we'll play it by ear... it also kinda depends on how fast I start to look pregnant, which, judging from the last time I went through this, won't be very long at all. I think I probably have about 2 - 2-1/2 weeks before people will start to get suspicious.

Yep. Still pregnant. Still creating lovely dark lines on pregnancy tests. So all appears to be well.

I'm on the books for my first prenatal appointment in January at 8 weeks. I also have in hand a requisition form for an ultrasound with my friends at the lovely St. Joes Perinatal Center for anytime after 8 weeks. I'm not sure how I still qualify to get ultrasounds there, since my only "high risk" is that I've had several ridiculously early losses. But I'm not asking questions because honestly? They are awesome and I love them.

I have a new ticker over there on the right --------------->. Isn't it cute? I've been wanting one of those since after Simon was born. They didn't have those new-fangled fancy gadgets when I was pregnant with the boys! Oh, the new technology these days. ;)

Still hanging in there! I'm mostly just EXHAUSTED. I went to bed at 7:30 again last night. I wish I had more in the way of symptoms, I'd feel better about things. There's just the exhaustion, some mild cramping on and off and the sore boobs.

Wish there was more to report... but for the moment, no news is good news.

...except worrying about whether or not this pregnancy is going to make it. NOTHING.

The doctor wants me to wait it out over the weekend and if I'm still feeling like maybe something's not right, she'll run new bloodwork next week.

That's fair... but Monday is a LONG way away. I hope I can at least compartmentalize somehow because I have a lot to get done to get ready for Christmas next week. And today was a total bust. :(

Well, the sore boobs are back. I'm still not totally sold on all being well, but I have been burned a lot in the past. (4? 5? times?) So I'm always skeptical. Never a dull moment here at the Baby Human pregnancy blogs...

Bleh. So my boobs stopped hurting this morning. This could mean nothing or it could mean things are tanking. I'm hoping my gut feeling is wrong. But we'll see...

Please say a little prayer that I'm worrying for nothing. And also that I'll remember it's inappropriate to grab my boobs in public. ;) I sometimes forget that.

HCG of 85, which is absolute perfection for how far along I am... actually, it's a little on the high side seeing as that was the number TWO days ago, TWO days before my period was due. (average is about 50!)

The progesterone was on the high side (for me) too. Obviously, it's still REALLY early and anything could happen, but for now, everything looks A-OK! Now though, I'm at least a tiny bit worried that that high numbers mean its twins. They run in my family and I've held my breath with every pregnancy hoping it's only one...

(Dear God, you know I can't possibly handle twins, right? Right? Seriously. I know you have a sense of humor and all, but you could always just show everyone your sense of humor by just giving me that third boy, ya know?)

My first doctor visit is in mid-January and around the same time, I get a sonogram! :) Wooohoo!

Here's hoping the next four weeks are extremely uneventful. :)

Still waiting for the doctor to call me back! Sheesh.

I broke down and told Tom last night. He kept wanting to bring home sushi and to share a beer and there were only so many times I could decline before he figured it out. I wrapped up one of the pregnancy tests and made him open it when he walked in from work last night.

He was SHOCKED and very excited, and also slightly annoyed that I didn't tell him from the very beginning. Lame! He got over it fast though. ;)

Still plugging along. Four weeks today. That's the downside to always finding out so early.... nine months goes by SO slowly.

I forgot that my doctor isn't even IN THE OFFICE today. Lame. But it's all good because, in true OCD fashion, I peed on another stick this morning and it turned positive instantaneously and the test line was even darker than the control line. Uhh... yeah, I'm pretty sure everything is fine! August baby, here we come!

Other observations:
-I nearly hurled after spinning in circles with Simon at school today.

-I have NO appetite. Seriously. NOTHING looks good to me. Weird. Usually when I'm pregnant I have the opposite problem. Oh wait, I take that back... apparently I also had this with Simon. See? Blogging every detail of your life is extremely useful!

-Tired. So. Very. Tired. Guess it wasn't the sore throat bug after all!

-Will need to dig out the belly band and stop buttoning my pants all too soon. Probably within the next two weeks. (cry)

I have managed to still not tell Tom, though honestly, it's killing me. And I think he wondered why I deleted all the history from his computer yesterday. (I had been searching for information about "4 weeks pregnant" and "progesterone during pregnancy" and "hcg levels at 12 days post ovulation" while he was at work) LOL.

I was SO tired yesterday that I was totally fried by 3p.m. I went to bed at 7. I don't know if that's due to the pregnancy or the sore throat thing I was fighting all day. But I'm kind of rooting for the sore throat because I was dead to the world. I have WAY too much to do between now and Christmas to be laying around on the couch all day!

The doctor should call sometime today with (hopefully) good news. My luck, she'll probably call while I'm at school with Simon in the cell phone dead zone. Not really sure how to circumvent that.

Will post when I know more!

My wonderful doctor called me back in record time this morning. She faxed bloodwork stuff over to the lab and within an hour I was there, taken back, finished and home! She wanted to get the progesterone levels BEFORE I start taking the supplement. Now that the bloodwork is done, I can go ahead and start it tonight and I will breathe a huge sigh of relief.

When I first called, I talked to her nurse/receptionist who asked me the usual, "When was the first day of your last period?" question. I told her
November 19th and she replied, "Oh, so you're what, about a week late?" I had to laugh. I can't even imagine being THAT late and not knowing I was pregnant. It's never happened.

So then I answered somewhat sheepishly, "Umm no. I'm not even late yet. Due on Wedesday." Yep. I'm efficient and alightly crazy like that. ;) I did qualify it with, "But I got a pretty strong positive test and I feel like crap soo...."

I woke up this morning feeling all pukey. Yay! This is a wonderful thing! I means all those hormones that make me feel pukey are there and in healthy enough amounts for me to notice. :)

I need to call my doctor this morning just to ask if I should start the progesterone supplement I started with Simon at this point. I didn't want to start it last night without her blessing. She'll probably mail me the lab form for the bloodwork, so I *should* know something definite about how all this is going by Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. Yay!

- I'm nuts.

- Back to feeling very optimistic. Obsessively holding your pee and peeing on multiple sticks throughout the day will do that to you. Behold! Progressively darker lines!

- I can't tell you how many times I have stopped in my tracks today and said a prayer for God to *please* let this be real this time and to please let me keep this one. I know it's in all in his hands anyway, and I also know I am a horrible control freak who pees on too many sticks needs to be taught lessons about letting God back in the driver's seat, but I really hope he can overlook that just this once.

- Tom still has no clue, even though he was WITH me this morning when I bought two more boxes of pregnancy tests. I promise you, he won't even think to ask the results. Men are so funny. ;) I'm trying to act normal, but it's really hard. Especially when I keep running out of the room to pee on a stick.

- I told you I was nuts.

- I feel like I should wait until at least Wednesday when my period is actually due to call my doctor. I've cried wolf three times already this year... although technically not really "wolf" because I DID have positive tests... they just didn't last very long.

- I doubt I will actually wait that long to call her.

- I told you I was nuts.

I took another test this morning and the line, which was faint to start because I started this whole process ridiculously early... (and it's still very early) hasn't gotten any darker. But all kinds of factors could contribute to that, so I'm not giving up. But I'm not as confident as I was yesterday that this is a good one.

Only time will tell... so I hope it passes quickly!

i haven't told Tom the news yet. Ideally, I'd like to get the blood work next week sometime, make sure the numbers look good (although I have to say I have a REALLY good feeling about this one) and give him something on Christmas Eve or on Christmas morning to tell him. Can I possibly wait that long? This is going to be hard!!!

Two lines! Here we go again! :)