(sigh) I heart this.

... but try as I might, and I REALLY tried, I can't rationalize paying $30 for it, much less $60 for the two different sizes I want it in, especially not even knowing if I can even use it. Soooo I will keep it in my cart and visit it every so often until it at least goes on sale a LITTLE.

On the offchance Three is a girl, I LOVE love love blue stuff for little girls. So much so, that I am actually considering buying up this entire line of Gymboree clothing because I know it will all be sold out by the time I find out Three's flavor. I can sell it on Ebay if I don't get to use it, right? ;)

If Three is a boy, he'll get a few new things too... though I can't find anything on Gymboree right now that I really like. Their boy clothes have really kinda gone downhill lately...

I had a dream last night that I don't remember too many details of EXCEPT that I had a beautiful newborn baby BOY who came out looking just like my other two. It was by far, the most realistic of all the dreams I have had, no multiples, no toddler-sized newborns, no weird circumstances... just a normal birth of a perfect baby boy.

Honestly, I'm feeling more and more like this is probably a boy, though I'm trying to withhold judgement/intuition (if that's possible) until the ultrasound because I'd really like to be totally surprised that day instead of going in with a hunch that it's one or the other.

Anyway, the current tally is:
Girls: 4 Boys: 1

Labels: dreams

Life has improved in the last two days since it seems the 24/7 nausea has gone away. The acid reflux is annoying, but mostly manageable. I have finally gotten off the couch and am starting to put life back together again.

The baby seems well. Ben and I listened to the heartbeat last night and it was nearly 180... so nice and fast and strong!

I am entertaining the idea of getting the nuchal fold scan between 11-14 weeks just so I can get another peek at Three and maybe some nice pics. After Katie's experience (with a potentially wrong call on the gender), I probably won't ask for a guess at that info then, it'd just be nice to see the baby again. The deal I have to make with myself though is that if the numbers come back with any red flags, I WILL NOT have an amnio or CVS. That may be hard if it were to come down to it. So, we'll have to see what decision I end up making there. I've never had the nuchal scan before... but again, this is my last go round, so the more pictures the better. My doctor really discourages it though, so she may try to talk me out of it...

Just trying to soak it all in and appreciate and embrace the parts of pregnancy that DON'T suck.

I'm working my way down a googled list of things that may or may not help with acid reflux. I can tell you right now that apple cider vinegar does NOT work. (that was last night's experiment) Not only does it not work, it made matters 100x worse.

This afternoon I'm trying skim milk.

Tomorrow's "cure" is a milk-less banana smoothie.

More later... I am determined to figure out some system so that I'm not totally miserable for the next 30-some-odd weeks.

9 Weeks... (sigh)


For comparison's sake, here I am 9 weeks with Simon. Actually, not too much different, which is a bit of a relief.

Labels: belly pics

So I have three baby books laid out in front of me... updating the boys' and filling in what I can in the new baby's. It's really weird so actually SEE something tangible that shows that we will have THREE. Strange, I tell you.

Oh yeah, SO never doing this ever again ever ever ever. I have NOT missed this aspect of pregnancy even a little bit. I don't know if I did something to really set it off today or if its time to shine has just arrived, but sheesh. Burning, burning...ow ow ow. :(

Hope the Zantac kicks in soon. (cry!)

Another girl dream last night. In this one, a sonographer just sort of appeared in the midst of another dream in which I had forgotten to pack Ben a lunch for school and announced that she saw "the three lines." Then she left and I went back to panicking about Ben's lunch.

Girls: 4 Boys: 0

Labels: dreams

So everything I've ever read says lots of small meals all day long is the best way to handle the pregnancy hunger.

I've tried that. It does NOT work for me.

I get SO hungry SO quickly... woe to anyone who is with me near a mealtime. It's not pretty. I have tried managing this with frequent high protein snacks -- precooked chicken, nuts, peanut butter crackers, hard boiled eggs... etc. But for some reason, unless I eat a TON of food all at once, (that also involves a lot of carbs) I only feel more hungry and eventually, nauseated.

What's up with this? It does eventually taper off toward the halfway point of the pregnancies.. but sheesh.

My grocery bill has been insane lately. I stocked up on a bunch of healthy frozen meals so I'd have something quick, easy, healthy and really filling to stuff my face with when the hunger strikes. I've also found myself in the Chick Fil A drive thru line more often than I'd like to admit lately when I'm caught off guard by the hunger out and about at lunchtime.

At least the issue I've had with Ben has never really repeated itself. With him, the hunger used to strike all the time in the middle of the night and I'd be up every two hours eating. There was a point with him where I was eating three breakfasts.

Yikes!

Okay, this is a weird one. I know where it came from though... yesterday, I was googling whether or not you could see the sex at the first-trimester screen (so, 13 weeks, 6 days at the latest). I ran across all these photos of baby boys and girls at that gestational age and OMG, they ALL look like they have penises. It's really weird. Anyway.... there's your background.

So in the dream I was at some random doctor's office, with my older sister-in-law. (I'm not sure why you keep figuring into my dreams lately, Krystyna, but anyway) The doctor told me she'd take the baby out so we could have a closer look. She held it up and it looked just like the photos I had seen earlier, like it had a penis. I asked Krystyna what she thought and she said, "Looks like a boy to me!" And then I went on to explain that they ALL look like boys at this age and I was pretty sure it was a girl but that we would just have to put it back and wait and see. Then I remember being excited that maybe it really WAS a boy and thought about going home to sort through all our boy clothes. Then I guess the doctor put the baby back to continue gestating, although I don't remember that part of the dream.

I'm not sure which team to give the point on this one... I think since in the dream MY gut was that it was a girl, we'll give it to the girls.

So, I believe we are now at
Girls: 3 Boys: 0

(or possibly Girls: 2 Boys: 1... I just can't decide about this dream... whether the me in the dream was just reserving judgement or really had a hunch my SIL was wrong)

Labels: dreams

I found this letter I wrote to my future (now present-day) self over on Simon's blog... HA! Why didn't I listen to myself!? ;)

That what we've nicknamed the baby. Barf. This is because approximately every 15 minutes, I can be heard muttering the word, "Barf." under my breath as the waves of nausea wash over me. I didn't adopt this habit with the other two pregnancies, but I just can't seem to help myself this time. Something about actually saying the word while I'm feeling it makes me feel every so slightly better. j

Tom keeps reminding me it will pass. And I know this. But that doesn't change the fact that I have some absolutely miserable days. Yesterday? Awesome. Today? Barf all day.

Baby Barf. Kinda cute, no? ;)

Ben got a huge kick out of me telling him that the baby was NOT being very nice to me today and when I commented that the baby hadn't liked a food I had just sent down to it. At first he seemed totally weirded out by all this but he seems to be warming up to the idea that there is a living thing in my belly.

Simon lately likes to come up and poke me in the stomach and ask, "What's in there?"

The answer now is, "Barf."

I just read you can't take the Intelligender test if you are on progesterone supplements. (it will always read "boy".) You have to wait until at least 10 days after you stop the treatment. Lameness. I wouldn't be able to take it until 16 weeks or so, which kinda makes it sort of dumb to do seeing as I'd have an ultrasound 2-3 weeks later. Ah well...

(idea stolen from Katie) ;)

This will save you trip through a month of archives.

When did you find out?
Friday, December 11, I got the world's faintest line on a test. (I would have been something like three weeks, two days pregnant at that point) We went out to dinner that night for Tom's work Christmas party. I tried again when we got home and it was a little darker. I didn't tell Tom until the following week after I got the first round of bloodwork. He was briefly very annoyed at this, but got over it quickly.

Are you sick this time?
Dreadfully so. Reading through my archives of Baby Too, I don't *THINK* it's all that much worse than with Simon. (and thusly, Ben since my pregnant with Simon was pretty much identical to Ben's) I think I just somehow blocked out the badness or three years of aging this time around makes it seem 100 times worse. I'm nauseated pretty much all day, every day, with a brief respite around dinnertime.

What are you craving?
Carbs out the wazoo. Bagels for breakfast, pasta for lunch, rice for dinner. Yeah, and I'm gaining weight at a nice clip to match that menu too.

Are you going to tell us the gender this time or keep it a secret?
That secret thing was WAY too hard and I don't think I could do it again. I had entertained the idea of not finding out at all this time, but really, let's face it, I am NOT a person who can do that. Plus, I really would like the boys to be at the BIG ultrasound and if THEY know, then there is no keeping it a secret anyway. So long story short, yes, we will be sharing this time.

Are you going to try that Intelligender thing?
Is the sky blue? This is RIGHT up my alley... I LOVE new pregnancy technology! For those of you who don't know, Intelligender is this urine test you can buy now that supposedly can predict your baby's gender at 10 weeks. Its accuracy varies depending on which reviews you read, but the company claims it's in the 90% range. I figure it can't hurt. It IS $35, but I won't be buying more than one. This is the last kiddo... may as well have some fun with this. ;)

Oh, so this is definitely the last baby?
I have never been more sure of anything in my entire life. You know how everyone says you'll just know when you're done? It's true.

What do the kids want?
Simon is clueless, though he pointed to the blob on the screen at the ultrasound yesterday and said "That's a sister." Ben has said our next baby would be a girl since just after Simon was born. Stay tuned to see if the kids have some kind of knowledge we don't!

What do YOU want?
Honestly, I don't care. I can see the pros of each as our third child and really just can't wait to find out how our family is going to be completed! I've been wondering the answer to this for six years! My husband, on the other hand, is **very** much in the pro-boy corner. Every time we go out anywhere and see pre-teen girls out and about, he shudders and says, "I hope we never have one of those." He does adore our niece though, so he'll be fine either way, I'm sure. He did make me promise, if it is a girl, to not interfere with how he treats her future boyfriends.

Do you have any hunches yet?
Not a one. I learned a long time ago not to trust any hunches anyway.

What's the due date?
Late August, supposedly the 26th, but given the time of year and that I went 10 days early with Simon, I'm hopeful it'll be more toward the middle of the month. We JUST beat the school cut off. (so I definitely can NOT go overdue!!!)

7 weeks, 6 days ... measuring two days ahead. I had to giggle when the sonographer called the baby "generous in size". LOL! Greater than 97th percentile!! Thank goodness it's ridiculously early, or I'd be panicking!!!


All looks wonderful so far! :) My doctor's appointment went well too and was uneventful... except for the stepping on the scale part. Scary! Really must get this appetite under control soon...

So I have my first doctor's appointment this morning at 10, for which I am certain I will be made to pee in a cup. All well and good, except that I can't really drink anything substantial until mid-afternoon lately without feeling godawful pukey. I'll often nurse a cup of tea in the morning for three hours and never finish it. But okay, so I can probably squeeze out enough to give them what they need. I can pee on pregnancy tests pretty much anytime, anywhere (it's a true talent!) so providing the sample for the doctor isn't my biggest concern.

However, immediately following the doctor's appointment, I have to head over for the ultrasound, for which I need to drink at least (consulting paper) 8-10 ounces of fluid 30-40 minutes before. (barf barf barf)

I'm hoping this one cup of tea, which actually is about two cups total, will be sufficient for both purposes.

Wish me luck.

I do remember for my 18-week ultrasound with Simon, I had a horrific stomach bug and been throwing up for 24 hours. I probably had 4 ounces of water in me at BEST and they still got what they needed and we got nice pictures. So, I'm thinking it will probably be fine. If worse comes to worse, they can just do the more invasive version, which will highly disturb my husband, I'm sure...

This is a personal best! Seven weeks, five days and I found Three's heartbeat just now with my home doppler! 160'ish beats per minute. Opposite side of where I found Simon's. :) I recorded it to upload later. :) Such a nice sound to hear. I can go into the ultrasound Wednesday a lot more relaxed now!

And today marks the first day I am wearing my full tummy panel pants. Awesomeness. I am painfully tired. Constantly nauseated. And growing progressively more worried I have more than one baby in here. Either that or I have just become a giant wuss in the last six years.

I don't think it's fair that I get up dry heave and then if I fall back to sleep, I have to dry heave again the second time I wake up. What's with that?

Sporting a pair of my smallest maternity jeans today and they are TIGHT. But at least when I wear them I look pregnant and not just chubby. At least, that's my hope.

So yeah, nothing new. Just growing and puking!

Oh, and Ben told me I need to make my Mii (on our Wii) fatter. Thanks, Ben.

This time I made some kind of soup for a party with Tom's family but was having trouble getting it heated up. And then, the more I heated it in the microwave, the less soup was in the container. I kept apologizing to everyone for not making enough and insisting I wouldn't eat any. My sister-in-law sat in the room with me the whole time giving me tips on how to reheat it and telling me about similar issues she had had with soup SHE had made recently. Then, something went wrong with the microwave and I exposed everyone to radiation when somehow I managed to run it with the door open. Meanwhile, Tom kept telling me to give up on it because I was missing the party and there was plenty of other food anyway.

Under normal circumstances, I am not a dreamer, but something happens to my brain when the pregnancy hormones get going and I dream like CRAZY and it's all WEIRD, weird stuff.

No babies in last nights dream sequences either... but at least there were no evil red-eyed dolls hanging around.

Someone is reading this blog from San Francisco, California and someone else from Irving, Texas. ? The California one could potentially be my brother, but I have no clue on the Texas...

... though none about babies. Last night was all about evil dolls with glowing red eyes trying to invade my childrens' rooms. I kept throwing them down the stairs and then finding them in the bedrooms again. Also, all the kids' furniture had been rearranged. Ben was sleeping in the crib, the bunk beds were nowhere to be found and Simon's room just had random furniture scattered everywhere. Weirdness.

I'm officially in a good groove with the morning sickness now. (although the n/a beer turned out to be a fluke and had no effect on the pukey factor this morning. I feel okay, not at all normal, but okay. Still crazy tired though.

Seven weeks today. Six days until we find out if there is really a baby in there with a heart beating, or if this has just been a really bad stomach bug. ;)

Knock on wood, I definitely seem to be on some sort of upswing... I tried my muffin/coffee trick again this morning and have felt pretty decent all day. Tom brought me home a pack of O'Douls non-alcoholic beer last night (isn't he sweet? LOL!) and I tried one... which actually wasn't bad and strangely enough, it seemed to help with the middle of the night/early morning queasiness. I actually think there's something to that since (I believe) beer is a base and probably counteracts some of the stomach acid issues that cause my problems. Anyway, I'll try it again tonight and see what happens. Can't hurt, right?

I've been coming home from the grocery store with the most random things. Today it was six cans of different kinds of canned soup because they just looked SO good sitting there on the shelf. Also two avocados, some popcorn, a bag of baby carrots and a jar of Nutella.

Which reminds me, I'm hungry...

Oh and mint toothpaste makes me barf. I've been brushing my teeth in the morning with just plain water. At night it's not so bad, but in the morning, it's the worst. taste. ever.

If you go by how pregnancies play out to predict the baby's gender, this is most definitely another boy. It's been thusfar EXACTLY like the other two pregnancies, from when I started getting sick, to the pattern of how and when I get sick, to the cravings and aversions... right down to the aforementioned toothpaste aversion.

So... what do you think? Blue again or pink this time? Thirteen more weeks!

...I feel slightly better today? I still did the usual morning pukey routine, but after I was sure that was over, I quickly ate a mouthful of carbs (in the form of a blueberry muffin) and then slowly drank a cup of coffee. One or the other, or possibly the combination REALLY helped settle things down. I have not felt pukey all morning, though I did get monstrously hungry during Simon's school time this morning. Coffee actually helped me a bit yesterday too, but I didn't try it until later in the day. It's brave of me to try it first thing in the morning because just the thought of it makes me want to hurl.

Still tired, but can't complain because Simon will go down for his nap soon and then so will I.

Hopefully this coffee/carb thing holds the key to keeping the all-day nausea away from now on...

Ugh. Today was NOT a good day. Neither was yesterday. The nausea is seriously neverending, it seems. I keep reading and re-reading Simon's pregnancy blog looking for some clue as to a) if it was this bad then and b) when it will end. On the blog, I stopped complaining about it by about 17 weeks with Simon, so I'm hopeful. But still, ten more weeks of feeling like this is a LONG LONG time. I still have a lot of "what was I thinking" moments lately.

In that same vein, I REALLY don't want to go on our Disney trip in three weeks. I have told my husband this twice and he has kind of laughed me off. Seriously though, I don't know how I will cope with a full day of travel +two kids +constant nausea and then busy days at the parks with all those things. Seeing as my husband doesn't seem to be taking me very seriously though, I guess I'll be sucking it up. This will be my fourth Disney trip while pregnant, (even though after the first time, I said I'd never go pregnant again) and quite possibly the most difficult. Sad, but I am just NOT looking forward to it one iota.

I told Simon this afternoon that there is a baby in my belly, just to see what his reaction would be. He told me "You need to push the baby out of your bum to fix it", so I guess he understands more than I give him credit for. Yikes. LOL. Perhaps, like his brother, he has been exposed to WAY too much TLC and Discovery Health channel.

We asked Ben yesterday what he would name a new brother and he said "light saber". We asked him what he would name a sister and I can't remember what he said, but it was some other random noun. (Jen, it reminded of when you were pregnant with Ryan and Zach said he wanted to name the baby "swingset".) Okay, so the naming will definitely NOT be left up to Ben.

Oh, and in other news, my doppler arrived today, though it's still too early to hear anything for another couple weeks. Didn't stop me from trying though. (no dice)

wake up
barf
nausea
nausea
nausea
eat random things in an effort to curb the nausea
nausea
nausea
nausea
2-hour nap (when hubby is home... when he's not, I have to let the kids either watch tv or tear a room apart while I close my eyes but never actually fall asleep... this will be much easier to manage when Ben goes back to school tomorrow because I can nap when Simon naps)
nausea
nausea
nausea
wait, is that hunger?
start dinner
wolf down dinner
feel great!
bedtime @ 8
wake up at 5:30 and start all over again

We haven't officially told the kids about the baby yet. Not that Simon would have any clue what I was talking about, although like Ben at that age, he'll probably randomly spew phrases about there being a baby in mommy's belly and being a big brother. But yeah, he won't have any idea what he's in for until the baby is born.

But Ben... he has a good handle on all this now AND he's been watching me closely and has asked often when God is going send us another baby. We've even added it to his bedtime prayers now and then... knowing it would probably happen sooner or later, I thought it would be a good, really tangible way to show him that God answers our prayers.

I think he's already suspicious. The other day, he purposely bonked his head into my stomach and made a funny face. We haven't exactly been careful the last week or two about discussing it in front of him and I'm noticed him listening to us more than once. But we haven't actually sat him down yet to tell him what's going on. I thought maybe after we get the first sonogram pictures would be a good time. He's going to have a LOT of questions... I'm letting Tom take the lead on this since he was the same age when his mom got pregnant with his youngest brother. So I think he has a good handle on what information to give and how detailed to get.

I can't wait to see both the boys as big brothers... I have some concerns about how Simon will react, since his personality is entirely different from Ben. (who, though I was vigilant with keeping an eye on him when Simon was a newborn, I never really had to worry about him hurting the baby on purpose or accidentally, or trying anything crazy) Simon, I'm not so sure. He can be very gentle, but he can also be REALLY territorial... we'll have to play this carefully.

I'm also thinking we'll probably find out and share the gender this time. I had considered keeping it all under wraps again or perhaps not even finding out ourselves, but truthfully, as much as I'd like to do that, it was WAY too hard of a secret to keep last time. I think it's enough to keep the name a secret... besides, I think if the boys know what they're getting, it will help them, (well, Ben anyway), form a bond with the baby before it's born. Good enough excuse as any, right? ;)

So anyway, I'd welcome any input on this topic... how did you prepare your older kids for the new baby? How did you answer questions... that sort of thing...

...of people who know.

We told Tom's parents last night. All I had to do was walk in, take off my coat and say to my MIL that I seem to have gained a little weight. Her eyes bugged out of her head. Anyway, so they're excited. One grandchild closer to their ultimate goal of a dozen. (poor youngest sister-in-law... she in this for about 7-8 kids now...) ;)

Seriously though, people, I'm huge. My baby is the size of a grain of rice and yet, I am huge. I can't wait for the upcoming ultrasound to (hopefully) rule out twins, because really, I'm thinking this is a little ridiculous. Even Michelle Duggar, mom of 19, doesn't show this quickly.

I unceremoniously emailed the news to my sisters-in-law this morning, who will probably find their way here later today.

And now pretty much everyone who is going to know before the ultrasound knows. Although I do have to clue in random people as I go who I see on a regular basis for the simple reason that I CAN'T HIDE IT! I would have loved to keep it quiet a little longer, honestly. But, it is what it is...